OMG...Where to begin?
Just in the past 7 days, My family has been through HELL! I can not say too many things publicly, what I can tell you is that everyone, especially DCF, has underestimated how broken all of these children truly are.
Now onto what I CAN tell you...
Spencer
After several meetings with Spencer's school RE:his IEP, I am proud to report that Spencer is doing fantastic. He has made significant progression and has excelled so much in the last few weeks that some of his pull out services have been reduced. His reading is finally at grade level, which I couldn't be more happy with, but it has been an uphill struggle as he still doesn't like to read. We have also recently completed an application to place Spencer in a local charter school, since he excels in Science, and we think that it would be a better fit for where he wants to be in the future. Sadly, we have also had to increase Spencer's therapy visits as he is really struggling with his OWN space since the "Littles" have arrived. We are looking into putting up some walls and giving him his own room in the long term. We also allowed him to take a season off from sports this winter to focus on his accademics.
Tucker
So this week we had a followup to Tucker's Cardiac Neuro Deveopmental Testing, and surprisingly, Tucker was NOT diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. Although Tucker has MANY of the symptoms, he is still classified as "Developmental Delayed". These symptoms can also fall under an Auditory Processing Disorder. So Dr. Henson suggested seeing both a neurologist and an audiologist as he already has hearing issues. Many of these things can be managed in the classroom, yet, there will have to be certain amendments in place in his IEP to cover these exceptions once I have the report in hand. We are still waiting to see if Tucker had another cardiac episode like he did over the summer. Nothing just yet, we have a cardiology workup in January. He also has a dental appointment coming up as well, those are always fun! (sarcasm)
The Littles
Both of "The Little's" are doing well. There has been quite the adjustment for both of the kids to have no structure in their lives and to have been placed in a home where there is a strict routine has certainly been challenging. Due to the nature of the removal from their home, K and A have exhibited some strange behaviors of late. I have contacted trama specialists on their behalf our first appointment luckily could be squeezed in this week. As for the status of their mother, she has blown off more than she has attended of her visits this last month. She continues to ignore the children's phone calls and says that she is "working" or that her phone was off. She has not even made an active attempt to finalize seeing her Children for Christmas. Yup...she breaks their little hearts on the reg!
A
A recently celebrated his 7th birthday with us, sadly at the end of the day, he asked me if he would be living with us for his next birthday as well. His response was painful to say the least..."Well, I hope so, this was the best birthday that I have ever had!" And we didn't even do much this year for any of the kids birthdays.
I received his educational testing back and like I suspected he is delayed in regards to his peers. He is showing that he has the ability to perform like his peers, and he has just lacked the exposure to things like writing on paper and peer socialization.
Medically, He is up to date on all of his vaccines, yet, he has recently been diagnosed with several cavities (they stopped counting at 5) and will have to go under sedation at Boston Children's Hospital to have them all fixed. There is also the situation RE:Tree Nut Allergy, their mom says that he has one, yet there is no documentation supporting it. So, testing for this to make sure that it is a true allergy, begins at the end of January. He also came home the other day beeming from EAR to EAR, he was chosen to be music's student of the month, also the simple mention of getting invited to a birthday party was also enough to make his day AH-MAZING! Also, I am proud to say that although he has issues around being shown any type of affection or love, he did tell me that he loved me the other day after my boys said it to me. Baby steps.
K
Well, let's just say that this little girl is brilliant in compared to her peers. They had to stop her testing at the 7 1/2 age level because that's where the preschool testing ends. (I guess that there is something to be said about being parked in front of a ipad all day everyday when she was with her mother) Socially is something else entirely, however, she struggles to play with her peers. She would rather play alone. So very sad. So, I have started to take her to the local play school here in town to become more socialized with her peers.
She also received a great dental checkup, and I am happy to report...ALL VACCINES are now up to date...Whew! There seems to be ALOT of separation anxiety daily with her. She is often time so close to me that she bumps into me if I stop short. Also there is also something about her appearing in the bathroom that creeps me out.
Now to the not so great news...Out of the blue, the birth father of both of the children has called DCF(Which are only involved because they had an open case under the kids mother) and would like to pursue obtaining permanent custody of both of the children. Now just to give everyone a little background on this situation. Their father hasn't been involved in their lives in almost FOUR years! Thats right, he hasnt seen A since he was about 2 1/2 and K since she was about 8 months old. Several years back he was ordered to attend supervised visits with the children and he did not comply to those rules, and hasn't paid any sort of child support almost that long as well. Even being paid partially under the table so that he can pay less child support for them. He is a known drug dealer and apparently has claimed both children on his taxes the last FOUR years! OMG...WE HAVE A REAL FUCKING WINNER HERE...!
Our next court date will be in January and I am beside myself. I will be going to the lawyer of the day after Christmas in the Worcester Probate Court to see what I can do to make sure that the kids rights are protected. I also will be petitioning the court for the judge to assign a Guardian at Lightum to speak on their behalf. We will also be asking for permanent custody.
Let me finish by telling everyone how humbling these last few months have been on our family. I have heard that it takes a "village" and I wouldn't be able to help these kids without the amazing support of my wonderful friends and family. The notes of support (the monetary donations, gas cards, bottles of wine, groceries and the endless Christmas gifts) that seem to arrive just when I am about to crack under all of the daily pressure have kept me motivated to continue this fight. From the bottom of my heart...THANK YOU!
Clearly, Gary and I have alot of work cut out for us, however, all of these people don't know who they are dealing with!
SIDENOTE: As we compile our court case, If anyone would like to write the court a Letter of Character Reference for either Gary or myself, please send it to one of us and address it to the following:
Worcester Probate Court
225 Main Street
Worcester, MA 01608
